"So I finally get an interview with the CEO on Ng'tal," he spoke quickly leading everyone on into the story. Nods acknowledging this to be an impressive accomplishment and murmurs of approval led Todd to continue.
"Seriously I never thought I would get an interview or I wouldn't have applied, but it was a lot of money, and I said, 'Hey, I might as well show up for the interview.' It was on their tab so a free interplanetary trip isn't going to hurt me.
"Now, I don't know if you guys have ever been to Ng'tal, but they don't breath Oxygen. They breath this blue stuff that works with our bodies, very bizarre, but we can breath it. It's awful stuff. It smells and tastes like sour sugar and is very dry. I started coughing as soon as I hit the stuff.
"Also, Ng'taleen see in a different spectrum than we do, so you have to wear special contacts to even see through the blue stuff they breath. It's miserable."
"So what happened? My lunch is almost over," someone interjected.
"I'm getting there.
"So I got there a day early just in case anything went wrong. My translator had stale cells and they don't have compatible cells on Ng'tal. So here I am trying to get through customs with no translator.
"Ng'taleen don't understand our hand gestures. I got the distinct impression that I did something obscene while trying to explain my translator needed a cell."
A few chuckled like a polite laugh track.
"I finally managed to buy a couple of cells off someone heading off planet. So that was my first day.
"I had the hardest time going to sleep. I finally took out the contacts. They were giving me a headache anyway, but I was starting to get nauseous from that blue stuff they breath so I still couldn't get to sleep.
"The next morning I wake up to my alarm. I'm feeling really sick to my stomach and think I'm going to lose it. I haven't even opened my eyes yet and I forget that I'm not at home.
"I run for the bathroom and run straight into a shelf on the wall. It catches me right here."
He made a sweeping motion showing the crest of his nose and the ridge above his left eye. There were groans, winces from the growing crowd.
"Ow," someone said feeling the pain.
"Oh, I'm afraid that was the good part of my day," Todd continued, silencing the crowd's murmurs.
"I said I ran into the shelf. I collapsed on my back smacking my head on the wall somehow. So I'm laying on the floor and the shelf takes its revenge."
"Oh, no!" The woman next to Todd sympathized. It distracts him for a moment, but soon he had his train of thought back and continued.
"Oh, yeah. The shelf and everything on it fall on me. Now remember, I can not see in the blue air they breath without my contacts, so I don't even know what's happening before it catches me right here," Todd motions under the left eye.
"Todd, this just keeps getting better. You're not even to the interview yet."
"Hold on Rob. You'll like the interview.
"Anyway. The shelf hits me in the face a second time and I'm just hating life. I'm on my back feeling sick and abused and then I remember where I am, and I realize my contacts were on that shelf."
Todd paused to shake his head slowly at his own misfortune.
"I found them eventually, but I knelt on them first. I broke the case, cut my knee and busted my right contact.
"So now, I have a swollen left eye that is seriously swelling shut, but I only have a left eye contact."
Another collective groan was heard.
"Why not just put it in the right eye?" a woman in the back asked.
"I actually tried, but I have a prescription for a special lens in my right eye, so it wasn't any good.
"So I'll skip the rest of the morning's follies, so Rob can get back to his desk." Todd grinned at Rob who was too anxious to hear the ending to notice.
"So I'm in the interview, and it's no different than any interview you'd get on Earth. Really, It was amazing how normal it was. Then they asked me, 'What are those markings on your face? We've never seen marking like that before on your species.'"
"What did you say?" Rob asked grinning with teeth showing, but everyone was curious.
"I lied.
"I said it was a birth mark that comes and goes, only some humans are lucky enough to have one like it. I hinted at a royal connection.
"They seemed very impressed actually. I'm sure it scored me brownie points."
"So how come you're working here and not there?" Someone asked Todd.
Todd grinned, then smiled, and then started to laugh while everyone waited for an explanation.
Todd finally got control of himself.
"Because as I shook the CEO's hand ... thing, my left eye finished swelling shut. I walked into the door frame, pretending nothing was wrong. That spun me around and I was still nauseous from their bizarre blue air and lost my breakfast while facing the CEO.
"I couldn't see, but his assistant, who lead me home, since I was now blind, told me it was perfect aim."
There was a collect gasp mixed with genuine laughter.
"Okay, that beats my story," Rob said and left shaking his own head.
"I'll tell you about the trip home tomorrow," Todd yelled after him and got back to eating his lunch and listening to other stories.