When the year was nearly gone and the new one upon me, I stepped out of my apartment into the cold dawn gloom. I could see the frosted mist cloud in front of me with every breath. A fresh powder lay an inch thick across the barren wooden steps.
The steps had been painted green once, but not much paint still clung to their gray weathered cracked surface. They did well not to just fall to pieces with each foot step I took down them. The old wood shook and shuddered silently, but I felt like they should be groaning and wailing, for all their silent pain.
I felt the frigid breeze pass over the hair on my arms, chilling me through my t-shirt. My sandals did little to keep the snow off my naked feet, and if I wasn't just taking out the trash, I might have given up after the first step and returned for my boots and coat.
"You're brave."
Her voice startled me so much I slipped and nearly placed myself in the can with the sack of refuse. I looked up to see a woman my age. She was standing on the steps of the apartment next to mine. She had a white coat edged with white faux furs, some blue jeans and a set of sneakers. She looked like her voice, too lovely and warm for a morning like this.
I was a bit embarrassed by my near miss with the can, and my feet were starting to get really cold, and I was shaking from the cold, so walked back up my steps into the apartment without saying a word.
"Stupid," I smacked my forehead with my cold hand. I should have said something. I always blew it. First time I meet the new tenant, and I blew it.
I took a shower and was off to work. This time I wasn't wearing sandals or a t-shirt. I traded them in for a long sleeve light blue dress shirt and some slacks and a set of black leather shoes. I looked like I was missing my tie. Luckily I didn't need one for this job.
I pulled up my chair and turned on my terminal and phone. My phone was ringing before I had the earpiece on.
"Imatris Computers, technical support. This is George. How may I help you?" I spoke, carefully to make it sound like the first time I had ever said it, even though I said the same answer 1000 times a day. My boss could be listening. I had to make it sound good.
Chad stopped by my desk to ask me if I wanted to go to lunch. I signaled one minute and continued listening to the customer's issue. I quickly explained that our computers don't have cup holders and was off the call in time to catch Chad and Hank before they got out the front door.
"Who's driving?" I asked, happy that tomorrow was the start of a three day weekend, and I only had four hours to go.
"You," Chad smiled. "That's why we asked you."
"Figures," I said and pulled my car keys from my pocket and pointed them at my car. "I'm over there."
"So," Chad started, "are you coming tonight?"
I stayed tactfully silent. Hank answered instead.
"No way. Sounds boring, a company New Year's Eve party. Whose brilliant idea was that?"
Chad rolled his eyes.
"How about you, George?" Chad looked at me.
"Uh, I don't have a date," I said looking for a graceful out.
"Come on," Chad complained. "You NEVER have a date. Why start a new trend now?"
"We'll see," I said.
I really hated these type of get-togethers. Chad obviously loved them, but wanted to inflict the joy on his friends as well. I didn't want to make him feel bad, but the nearly overwhelming urge to tell him to get a life pressed upon me. That only lasted a moment as I recalled, I had no plans for New Year's Eve. I really needed to get a life.
"We'll see," I repeated, knowing I had just been sucked in to going.
Lunch was uneventful, except that Chad and I learned to never let Hank talk us into going somewhere new, when we were paying.
I got home from work around 6:30, and all I could think of is, "There must be someway of getting that awful lunch induced aftertaste out of my mouth...."
I saw her again on her steps, as I approached mine. I was about to go in, and I thought, maybe I can make Chad eat his words.
I said, "Excuse me."
The woman turned and looked at me. She smiled. Waiting.
"I know, um, are, uh, do you have plans for New Years? I mean tonight?"
"Me?" She seemed a bit surprised. "You're asking me out?"
"Uh, yeah, I mean you're not married, or busy, or, ... I sound stupid don't I."
She nodded.
I was stopped on my steps, waiting for a response.
"No." She said.
"Okay, I understand." I wasn't use to asking women out, so wasn't surprised to get shot down. I walked up the steps and got my keys out to open my door.
"I mean no, I don't have plans. Not this year, anyway."
I dropped my keys in the powder that still coated my steps.
"Cool. I'm heading to a work party tonight, say ten?"
"Sure, I could use the diversion," she said.
I smiled.
"See you then." I said and went inside.
Did she call me a diversion? Well at least I had a date. Chad's going to be in shock.
"I really hope he doesn't have a date," I said softly to myself. "I'll be able to rub this in for the whole year."
I made myself some yellow death. (Real cheese, ... yeah right.) And then, picked out some casual cloths to wear. It was bad enough going to a company New Year's Eve party, I wasn't going to dress up too.
At ten, I went to knock on the door, but found my date waiting on her front steps.
"Oh, ... I hope I didn't keep you waiting," I said. I was mentally trying to decide if my clocks were off. If they were, how embarrassing. I kept embarrassing myself in front of her. I had better stop doing that.
"No," she said softly. "I was just out here looking at the stars, and thinking about my parents."
"Your parents? Do they live out of town?"
"They're dead."
I drew a breath. So much for not embarrassing myself. I thought, "I might as well go for broke."
"It must have been awful to find out they had passed away."
"I was there," she said. "We were blind sided by a drunk driver on New Year's Eve. That's why I'm out here, just thinking."
"Well, at least you survived. Things could be worse."
She was silent.
I wanted to smack myself in the forehead again. I just needed to be quiet or discretely change to subject.
"Are you ready?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "Is what I'm wearing okay?"
She walked gracefully down her steps. I was struck at how heavenly she looked, and how smooth and fluid her movements were. Not like me.
"You look fine, besides, ...."
I stopped mid sentence. I was going to say something witty and charming, but realized I didn't have anything witty or charming to say. I decided to quit talking and she politely let me.
She glided over to the passenger side door of my car, and waited for me to open it for her. I had forgotten some women like that, so made a fool of myself walking to my door and then walking around the car to open the door for her. I made a mental note to open all doors for her tonight. She seemed like someone I might be interested in getting to know better, so I thought it would be a good idea to be polite. Maybe I could make up for my awkwardness with a little gentlemanly behavior.
The party was actually fun. There was yet another awkward moment when Chad asked for an introduction to my date. I realized I had never asked her for her name.
She covered me though, smoothly, and introduced herself as Sara in a very sultry voice. She gave me a wink when he raised his eyebrows and gave me one of those patented you-lucky-devil looks. He was alone, and I had a great time despite it being a company party.
Before I wanted the night to end, I was pulling up in front of our apartments. I made sure I opened up her door, and I walked her to her front steps.
"I had a great time," I offered.
"I did too." She smiled. It was a happy smile. She really meant it. My heart leapt. That was great.
Things had gone perfectly for the last hour or so. I didn't want to spoil it by doing anything stupid.
"Well, have a good night," I said. I walked back to my steps and walk up mine as she walked up hers. I entered my apartment and had an easy time falling to sleep between my sheets. I had had a wonderful night, but somehow I felt she was still out on her steps looking at the stars.
I wondered, as I drifted in to sleep, how would I ever handle my parents dying violently before my eyes on a holiday. I understood why she stood on her front steps just staring at the stars, not feeling the cold around her.
The next morning I wandered around the apartment, trying to think of a reason to go knock on Sara's door. It would be so nice to have her over. Would she think I was too forward?
"Who cares?" I finally said out loud to the empty apartment. I put my sandals on and walked out in my t-shirt, and marched up my neighbor's steps, before I lost my nerve or realized that I was actually being brave.
I knocked on her door. I didn't bother with the doorbell. I doubted it worked anyway. Mine sure didn't.
It was really cold.
I knocked again.
Maybe she had left for the day. I looked down at my cold feet, and then I saw. The snow lay exactly as it had the day before. None had fallen. None had melted. But, there was only one set of foot prints on her stairs, and they were mine coming up to the door.
I turned and walked back to my apartment slowly. I desperately wanted to knock on her door again. I kept walking. Sometimes the boy doesn't get the girl. Sometimes that's the way things end.