This is not the ending I had in mind from the beginning.
I stand on the lip of the beach. No wind appears to be driving the waves, but they are large. and don't quietly pulverize the once rock sand beach. The sun sets in moments, but the world doesn't change in those moments. Easily defined moments have little impact.
I walk toward the ocean and get close enough that unexpected large wave send frothing foam sprinting up the sand past my once dry shoes.
It's so big, I think.
I've never seen the ocean before. I've always assumed it was big, but it stretches beyond sight. I can see a light out over the waves. Is it a light house? A buoy? A ship? Or is it just a light?
Can a light loose its way and just get lost and wander the oceans? Why did anyone venture out into a watery world with no land? Did they really hate it where they were? Was there wealth to be had?
I try to imagine why my ancestors left their isles. I can't imagine Why would anyone leave ground for this turbulent, terrifying mass of water that isn't good for drinking?
The foam washes past my feet again, bringing me back to the waves and the ocean roaring all around but from no one location.
I walk up the beach to where the sand is almost dry and the waves don't come on windless days. Not today anyway. I see a couple walking down the beach about half a mile from me. I can barely make out their shape. I imaging that they are holding hands. Isn't that what couples do when they walk on the beach?
Yes. They are holding hands. I can't see them, but I'm sure of it. They hold hands and don't talk, because they would have to shout to be heard over the ocean, and that wouldn't be romantic, so they don't talk. They walk on in silence to loud to be broken and pretend that the romantic moment isn't giving them an incredible headache.
I stand and walk up the sand to the lip of the beach again. I'm getting cold sitting still in the sand by the ocean that won't stop. I look back at the public parking lot again and it is still empty.
The car isn't even in her name. I could have her arrested for stealing my car. I grin at the thought, but it doesn't seem right somehow.
No that wouldn't be right. My name or her name, it doesn't seem right. Like driving off, leaving your fiance on a remote beach miles and miles from the nearest phone or taxi. It just doesn't seem right.
I look at the sea one more time and turn to the empty parking lot. I walk over the asphalt to the road and begin thumbing and walking my way back to a hotel. At least I still have my wallet. I still have a job to go back to. I still have an apartment.
Some would say that that is enough.
I just don't love you. I probably should have told that to her somewhere other than a deserted beach in the late evening. Live and learn.
A car passed me close enough that I feel the rush of wind from its speed. They will probably sleep in a bed tonight.
I trudge on in the dark.